B站推《Mystery of Love》这首歌时,我再次播放并被感动。这一次,我终于理解歌词的含义。
Oh, to see without my eyes
The first time that you kissed me
Boundless by the time I cried
I built your walls around me
离开你之后,我无尽的悲痛,每天只能以泪洗面,用你的记忆裹挟着我,仿佛你还未离去。
White noise, what an awful sound
Fumbling by Rogue River
Feel my feet above the ground
Hand of God, deliver me
河流的声音提醒着当初我们在一起的点点滴滴(与前一段的记忆相对应),上帝啊,请带我逃离爱别离的苦海。
Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me
The first time that you touched me
Oh, will wonders ever cease?
Blessed be the mystery of love
还记得你第一次抚摸我的时候,我多么希望,时间暂停在此刻。——越希望脱离别离之苦,越忍不住回忆起当初的种种美好。我多么希望上帝可以为我们的爱祝福。
Lord, I no longer believe
Drowned in living waters
Cursed by the love that I received
From my brother's daughter
主啊,你不是宣称可以救赎世人吗?为什么我们的爱无法容于世间呢?living water 原本是救赎的、使人焕发新生的活水,如今我却溺于其中。
Like Hephaestion, who died
Alexander's lover
Now my riverbed has dried
Shall I find no other?
无论是乱伦之恋(与侄女),还是同性之爱(赫费斯提翁与亚历山大),都受到世间诅咒,上帝啊,你不是说救赎、新生吗?我的爱河已经干涸,我再找不到像他一样的“另一个我”了。
Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me
I'm running like a plover
Now I'm prone to misery
The birthmark on your shoulder reminds me
我像水鸟一样奔走逃离,逃离悲痛,然而,我注定为爱而悲痛。你肩上的胎记提醒着我爱你的痕迹。
How much sorrow can I take?
Blackbird on my shoulder
And what difference does it make
When this love is over?
上帝啊,你忍心看着我如此悲痛吗?早知今日会分离,当初又何必要在一起?(“我”肩上的黑鸟对应“你”肩上的胎记,前者是“我”的诅咒,与前面的 cursed 对应,我和你这段跨越年龄的爱,必将受到诅咒;后者是你刻在我心里的印记。)
Shall I sleep within your bed,
River of unhappiness
Hold your hands upon my head
'Til I breathe my last breath
我还要睡在你的床上,让悲痛之河在我心中流淌吗?(这床对应的便是小说《请以你的名字呼唤我》中原本属于 Elio 却让 Oliver 住的那张床,在那里,他们留下了难忘的回忆。悲痛之河其实是河的暗喻,仿佛躺在上面,就能感受到胸中悲痛涌动,将静物动态化,我喜欢这个比喻。)
不要走,请一直摩挲着我的头好不好?
Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me
The last time that you touched me
Oh, will wonders ever cease?
Blessed be the mystery of love
与你在一起的每一天,仿佛生命的奇迹,因为我在世上找到了另一个我。然而,奇迹要停止了吗?请上帝祝福,祝福……