纽约金牌离婚律师James Sexton已经成为我过去一个季度以来各种信源里最炙手可热的老白男:我的B站即刻YouTube小宇宙Apple podcast等各处时间线里他已经出现了不下八次。
加起来也听了看了四五个小时他的内容,刚好一次是情人节后面,昨天520又完整听了他和Lex Fridman的三个小时的播客对谈,每次听他说话都有一种解开心结的畅快感。Oh so even the richest people or the most attractive people still got all those shitty moments in their lives and they cannot put it together.
我非常喜欢非常喜欢这个老白男,给无数狗屁倒灶的couples打完各种骇人听闻的离婚诉讼,依然在所有公开场合始终如一地呼吁大家:不要害怕失败不要害怕受伤,人就是这样荒唐脆弱孤独软弱又不堪的生物,人也只有通过他人才能完整自己。
昨天在地铁上听到几句让人头皮发麻的句子,至今几乎可以背下来全句:
1️⃣If you are into a relationship that is all too damn romantic, you are getting an unfulfilled one. Love cannot exist without hate.
2️⃣I it takes huge courage to dive into another person and chances are we too often don’t even have enough courage to dive into ourselves.
3️⃣I lost my dog, I thought I would never have a second one yet it’s not true, I will still have my second dog and love him as well. People have this ultimate resilience to recover from ashes.
4️⃣Connection is all we have got.
所以,尽管数据上来看50%左右的人会离婚,但是五六年以后,他们中的80%又会复婚(80这个数字记不清了可能略高)。
没什么大不了的,纵身一跃而已。比起痛苦,遗憾在回忆里带来的不可忍受要强烈一万倍。
看到很多人因为害怕被伤害就锁住自己的心,或者干脆因为(古怪的舆论环境)而只能把精致利己做到极致(其他事也就算了,恋爱也只信奉精致利己这一套真是没救,爱的本质就是给予而不是索要),试图让自己无坚不摧,还要大声嘲笑那些敢于在这个时代下依然愿意大胆交付真心的人,真是可怜又可笑至极。
当然这一条暴论的前提是对方值得,不然还是早点跑脱为上。